Cactus Chords

One of the most compelling factors that keeps me going with my blog is the self confidence that I have the nuts to admit about emotions and phases I go through. And when I see others go through the same as well, but scared to admit it, gives me all the more reason to paint it.

Let me not confuse you any further and tell you what this post is directed towards…..

HAVE YOU EVER BLAMED SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE WAY YOUR LIFE TURNED OUT?

Before I am showered with rebuts, I would like to add, I mean this strictly from a non-family oriented perspective. Family is a bond you can not willingly amputate. If your life ends up in a certain way and your family is partly or majorly responsible for the scenario, you have all the rights to blame it on them or not. But I am not touching that sensitive topic one bit. I am loyally adhering to the professional life, social life, personal life etc

“Behind every successful man is a woman but behind every man’s failure is also a woman”…God damn am I bloody tired of hearing that phrase. But can’t help it, it is just one of those phrases, you know, the-more-you-refute-the-more-the-incidents-that-prove-it-true, kinda thing. The way my lady has changed my life around, given me support, mentally, emotionally, warn me, chide me, respect me and guzillion other things, are just a few aspects that make you realize what a nit-wit you can be for blaming someone who cares for nothing but your happiness.

I have found myself, almost 2 years back, blaming my relationship for the way I had to change my life for her, you know when that occasional fight arouses where all hell breaks loose. For those ladies who are reading this and going “Oh my god, this guy is such a loser. How could he put her through that?”, please save the mean comments and voodoo dolls until I am done. I was just another guy who did not know how to handle the latest plug-in in my life. When the transition from dating, to getting in the good books of her family. From just hanging out, to spending quality time. In other words, scared;

- of whether I would lose my freedom
- whether I wouldn’t be able to go out drinking with my friends late
- have to be answerable to a person when Ive never been answerable to anyone all my life
- whether I wouldn’t be cool enough in front of my friends anymore coz of the lack of freedom
- whether I would be mistaken for being henpecked or even worse, end up one

I, being a guy, could give a million other thoughts, but I very well know, you know exactly what I am referring to.

Though all the above are really stupid and foolish thoughts, I can’t help it, neither can any guy. The sooner women understand this and accept it, the better. These are thoughts that come in the installation package of a GUY when sent to earth. He is bound to be faced with such nightmarish questions when someone new comes into his life who also has a say in his decisions thereon.

I would love to meet a guy who never thought so. Please email me at get.some.balls.to.admit.it.dude@gmail.com

One day, it so happened that I was, as usual, blaming myself for getting into a relationship and turning my life around unnecessarily. She, for the first time, lashed out at me like never before and asked me a few questions back to back after which I had a sleepless night where I attained such clarity after which I haven’t questioned anything since.

“Who asked who out?”, “Who took things forward with the family?”, “Did I ask you even once to give me a commitment?”, “Haven’t I given you enough and more space?”, “Tell me one incident when I have stopped you from being who you were?”.

EVEN IF, your relationship has made you change your life around, trust me it will be for the good. Because, we do not realize it, but when a person who loves us tells us to make a few adjustments in our lifestyle, it means, what we were doing before was not right, it was wrong. Otherwise, why would someone who loves us point us in the wrong direction?

Please do not misunderstand what I am saying. Not everything your girl or guy says is for the good, I specifically mentioned, Someone Who Loves You. If you have a jerk-ass chic or a guy, it’s again your fault mate.
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No matter what you do, who you are with, how you end up….. its all a subconscious choice you made somewhere. There might be external factors that bring about these situations, but the majorly, am sorry to burst your bubble, it is YOU. Stop blaming others.
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- If your high school sweetheart left you -> you were just doing something wrong. Read the signs
- If your best friend from school betrays you in friendship or otherwise -> it was your mistake you gave him that opportunity. You should have seen it coming
- If you stood up for someone at one point of time and that person does not for you -> do not blame him, blame yourself

You were just a fool to have not read the signs. Before something bad happens, the universe has a way of giving you signs. The reluctant don’t see it, the foolish misread it, the overconfident condone it. No matter who you are, Reluctant, Foolish or Overconfident, you end up all messed up and in the same boat.

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Everything you do in life is of your choice. If you do not want to do something but forced to, then make sure you have a back up plan when this does not work out. Do not expect the same people who put you in the mess to pull you out. Dream on….that is the last thing you should expect. If you get that, consider yourself blessed and that person, godsend.
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Life is short and it would make much more sense if you sit and evaluate the following when life is not going right

- How you ended up in this situation
- What your options are to loosen the knot around your neck
- What the consequences are, if you take those
- Whether you have a means of tackling those hurdles
- What next?

If you are one of those people with everything worked out in life and wonder what is the use of this post, please step aside, this is for the less fortunate ones who have life all mangled up and can not figure it out.

Hope this made some sense to you.

Cheers!!!

image reference: www.savagechickens.com/2006/08/blame.html, www.poppendieck.com/blame.htm, www.citypact.com/…/joined-a-knit-together.html

Sorry guys, I was traveling and just got back to share with you all the last and final chapter of the story.

Max reaches his friend’s place and is surprised at how small an office he has and stops to wonder if he was doing something that wasn’t worthwhile. He scraps all the random thoughts running through his mind and steps in. Walks into his friend’s office and meets him. His friend welcomes him with a hug and asks him to take a seat. Without wasting anytime, his friend introduces Max to one of his subordinates and asks him to commence the process of familiarizing Max with the goings on of the distribution unit. From identfying production companies, negotiating, agreements, logistics, stock checking, distribution, further negotiationm basically from alpha to omega.

As time passed, Max started showing exemplary skills in every field. He also went the extra mile and became sort of the union leader of the employees. He got their concerns to the higher authorities; his friend. Within a short time span of 4 years, he had managed to increase the distribution units from 1 to 4 in 3 different cities. His friend was very proud of him and promised to make him his partner and let him handle 2 sectors all by himself. Max regularly sent money to his uncle’s house and wrote to them as he considered them his family. He had also saved enough money to invest in real estate, and 3 ambassadors. Don’t ask me why he bought 3 of them. Maybe he found some use of it. Within another year, business was going smooth but stagnant. No growth and they badly needed to expand. His friend put forward the idea of him joining his business and both of them investing more money into the business and opening up more distribution units in 2 other cities to increase their revenues. Max readily agreed as, in a way, he was thankful for the life he had and he wanted to grow. After their discussions, his friend agreed to invest quite a bit of money and to get Max to be an equal share holder, his friend asked him to invest the same amount. If Max invested that amount, he would be left with exactly INR 8,000/-.

In a way Max loved the challenge. He thought to himself, “If this is a wrong decision, then I stand to learn from this. So what, I have my friend and team with me. If something goes wrong, we can always work our way up.” He agreed and they started the procedures to open the new units. He handed over the money to his friend and told him to take care of the formalities as that was what was happening all these years. He handed over the money and decided to visit his only family to tell them the good news and go check on them after years. As soon as he said this, I sat back on my chair, widened my eyes and cupped my mouth. Max looked at me and made the loser sign on his forehead. I sat there motionless.  Max was in charge of all the operations whereas his friend was in charge of the management. He stops, looks at me and says, “You guessed right Mithun, he screwed me. I am not ashamed to admit it.” He adviced, “Whenever you get cheated or screwed in business, shout it to whomever you want. Do not keep it within. Only then will you have the drive to prove to those that you can come out of it and you are capable of it. If you are the only one who knows it along with a few others, you will keep a low profile and end up a loser.”

In a way, it is true. It does help in many ways. I openely accept my first failure but at the same time working ten times harder to prove myself and find myself at peace. I find a lot who agree with me in the wrong decisions I made, advice me, correct me, say the I-told-you-so phrase but most of all support me and offer me all kinds of help. And one thing I appreciate and realize is that, all those weren’t just words. Every single person who promised to help me has come to my aid, with absolutely no expectations. It is indeed a good feeling. Just for the sake of those people, I want to excel in life. I will ensure I do not make the same mistakes that I made and I saw others make. But I might make new ones. Take life as it comes and learn as you go.

Max then returns from his home to find out that his childhood mate and his work buddy for so many years has, no points for guessing, invested his money and moved on. All within a matter of 2 weeks. Apprently, the procedures had started well before the handing over of the money. Basically he was broke with just INR 4000/-, 3 ambassadors and a piece of land. What he did after that, I can not say, f@#k!!! He quit his job, spent a few months brooding over his mistake and without wasting anymore time went on to build a whole new business that flourished to not that state alone but 3 different states and lives a happy life with his family. Due course of this new venture he went through a lot of hardships as well which I am not allowed to speak about. Pretty much the same thing, backstabbing, cheating, lying, but by other people in new ways. This time, he had a back up plan for everything that happened. He ends by saying, “Once bitten, twice shy. I just followed my instincts and learnt to observe, read and decipher people.”

Recently, his old friend got in touch with him, apologized and asked him if he was interested in a new business venture and told him this time he would work for him. “What goes around, comes around.” He told me, “Mithun, you just do your part. The universe has a way of its own. It will reward you with everything you want if you want it with all your heart and work towards it.”

If you guys haven’t heard of or watched it, please get your hands on this documentary called “The Secret”. It is a life changing documentary. NOT THE MOVIE, THE DOCUMENTARY. At least for me. I hope you enjoyed this post. I just wish Max lets me write about his work someday. I would love to share the rest of his story. It is action pact.

Cheers!!!

The following post will only make sense to you if, you are a person with the following traits,

- have an ever growing craving for change
- more than just complacent with wherever you are in life
- always wondered how the personality that you are, would react if put in a certain situation
- always wanted to do something crazy that would surprise everyone and you yourself

It has been my dream for years to pack my bags one fine day with nothing more than a change, my toothbrush, paste, deo, cellfone and CATs and say Rs. 2000/- and set out to someplace Ive never been before. And I will do that sometime soon.

Q: What will you do when you run out of money?

A: I would love to work someplace and earn money. Just for a while, say a month or even couple of weeks. I do not care where it is and I mean it. It can be anywhere, even in a hotel as a waiter or a helper someplace. Live that simple life for a month and experience it. There are hidden treasures in a simple life. You might not quite understand where I am coming from but a lot of others who think like me will, I am sure.

Q: Isn’t that a scary thought and a stupid thing to do?

A: A lot of people are scared what will happen if they do that. They feel their whole life will be turned topsy turvy if they stay away. It’s all about personal perception and whether you find joy in living extravagantly or find joy in the simplest things in life such as helping someone and seeing a smile on their face, the gratitude and blessing smeared all over their face. It’s a different high on the whole. Don’t think too much, just go for it.

Q: What do you exactly have in mind, when you mean a simple life?

A: It all depends upon how adaptable you are to a new environment. If you are enslaved to the stereotypical lifestyle of waking up, going to work, slogging all day (doesn’t matter if u get to chill at work or even fool around, you are still at work and under someone), get back home, have dinner, go out probably, sleep and repeat the cycle. You might have a vaccation once in a blue moon to a beachy location and do water sports and return all refreshed. That is also good, but do not repeat it more than once, it becomes stale. What I have in mind is a secret i will reveal once I’ve lived it.

Everyone goes to beautiful locations for a vaccation, spend a fortune, upload pics, receive comments and get back to work. No one will remember it. Do something different, the feeling is beyond this world. You wouldn’t even bother if no one appreciated it. You yourself would be at peace. Whereas you go someplace else where everyone else has been and its not appreciated when you are back, it will bother you.

Q: Can you explain what kind of feeling you are referring to?

A: How can I explain that? It is for you to experience. By the way do not go on this trip with any of your girl mates. They won’t understand it. Even if they do, you will always have their safety and comfort on your head. So keep this trip as something that is close to your heart and for yourself.

Try this out sometime in your lifetime and if this post made you do it, don’t thank me or even acknowledge or admit it, I will just be glad if I succeeded in breaking the cocoon you were in.

Cheers!!!

image references: radio.weblogs.com/0128644/2004/08/index.html, www.shunya.net,